apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
