I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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