bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
