Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
