bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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