this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
being pregnant is like rehab
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
