The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
