Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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