He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
