D3 body, D1 cock
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
