Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
