I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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