just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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