Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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