Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Bring me that man meat
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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