they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
