I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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