her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
it's like heaven, but drunker
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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