I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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