all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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