Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
