I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
