Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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