You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
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