I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
