Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
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