Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
