But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
