Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you had me at cake vodka
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
