is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
