O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
