Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
