Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
