so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
