Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
