Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Alive.
So much puke
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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