; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
