it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
