My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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