What tipped you off? The sombrero?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
