so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
