I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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