I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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