She said her name was "party"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
