Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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