I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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