dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
