I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
NoShamevember. You game?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
