got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
