i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
