scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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