These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
